Work for the groom doesn’t have to stop after he pops the question. Some grooms like to be involved in the planning process from beginning to end and some…well, they just want to know what to wear and where exactly to show up. The men in our lives can be fickle creatures in that they simply want to know only the basics. As women, we want them to be attentive, decisive and involved. So, when planning a wedding, how do we get the groom to be a part of the planning process without overwhelming ourselves and them? Here are a few suggestions.
1. Plan Ahead: Give yourself and your groom time and space to plan your wedding. You may want to be married the moment he’s asks, but if you’ve been dreaming about your wedding since you were a young girl you want to give yourself time to turn that dream into a reality. By planning ahead, you can take some of the pressure off yourself and thereby eliminating the added pressure you may inadvertently place on your fiancé.
2. Planning Sessions: Schedule planning sessions with your fiancé. Find time that is convenient for him, have a list of key items you may want to discuss and set a time limit. If you know his attention may only be good for an hour then discuss the wedding for an hour only. He can focus on those items knowing that this won’t turn into an endless discussion about the wedding. Another thing, make sure your list isn’t a full list of everything you need to cover for the wedding. You don’t want to get it all done in one sitting and you certainly don’t want to overwhelm your groom. Using a wedding timeline can help narrow your focus, keep his attention and get things accomplished.
3. Keep it Simple – If you want your fiancé to help make decisions about the wedding, remember: three is key. When presenting him with items to choose from, narrow them down to three. The last thing you want to do is overwhelm him with five or ten different options and expect him to choose just one. His first thought may be to tell you to choose something and that’s not what you want. The least amount of items he has to choose from the better chance you have at keeping him involved in the process.
4. The Details: In all honesty, most grooms don’t care about the pretty little details, flowers, or sparkly things that get us all excited about a wedding. When getting him to make a decision, you may want to keep the options limited to the entrée choices, wedding cake flavors, the wedding day attire for him and his groomsmen, gifts for his attendants and then allow him to gradually ease into other decisions.
Even though you may have been dreaming of your wedding day since you were a little girl, it’s still a day where two lives are joined together. You want it to be a day that reflects not only you, but your groom as well. Getting your groom to be a part of the planning process may be challenging but will also be rewarding, as the planning experience should be! Happy planning!